Porn is love you can see.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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