Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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