You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
