i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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