Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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