Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
