he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
