there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
