last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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