Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
