Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You ruined the universe
Randomize
