apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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