My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
