I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
