I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
