I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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