Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just tell him i said nine months
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Randomize
