The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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