He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Sorry about my life...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
