Soap is not a condiment
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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