covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
