Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
