She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
