Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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