Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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