It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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