Kiss
Puke
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
