The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
