He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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