is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
