Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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