OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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