I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
