I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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