She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
