yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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