my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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