I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
