Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
