On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
