playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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