That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
