i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
