Rock
Scissors
Fuck
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
