omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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