speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
