That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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