He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
