Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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