Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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