He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
