So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize