You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I think i peed on brittanys purse
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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