And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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