That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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