He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
