So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
