So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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