I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
