Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
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